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The perfect smile
The coolest walk
The sweetest style
The smoothest talk
Such beautiful eyes
Such tasteful lips
The greatest surprise
And erotic hips
I'll be your lover
I'll be your friend
We'll lie under these covers
Until the end
I wrote this while in English C class :aww:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Its a sweet poem.
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:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Heh, thanks ^^
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome
Reply
:iconfa-la-lala:
Fa-la-lala Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Student General Artist
Oooo! I like this!!:) Check out my poems if you wish!
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:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I will ^^ Thank you!
Reply
:iconxbloodynightmaresx:
XBloodyNightmaresX Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Student General Artist
That is so beautiful! I dont think i could write anything like that xD
Reply
:iconcarminedevian:
CarmineDevian Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Student Writer
thats awesome again
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! ^^
Reply
:iconcarminedevian:
CarmineDevian Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Student Writer
Its really is beautiful, good job
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:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much :aww:
Reply
:iconeatingemokids:
EatingEmoKids Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
Oh this is SO romantic! Okay. That sounded really weird, but whatever. YOUR SUCH A GREAT FRICKIN WRITER! :D
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
D'aww, thanks! :aww:
Reply
:iconextremerebirth1:
extremerebirth1 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Cute
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:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! ^^
Reply
:iconsatakuray:
Satakuray Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
YOU WRITE SUCH GOOD POEMS!!!
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! ^w^
Reply
:iconsatakuray:
Satakuray Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you are most welcome!:D
Reply
:iconensyt:
ensyt Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012
its cool
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! ^^
Reply
:iconensyt:
ensyt Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012
welcome :D
Reply
:iconazzabackam:
Azzabackam Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Fuckin' brilliant!

I've never been one for poetry, so I doubt I'm a good judge, but this is a great, romantic poem. It's short, complementative, and it has a nice...meter? Yeah, I think it's meter that I'm thinking of.

I don't know who you wrote this for, but tell them they're one lucky motherfucker to have you like them enough to write poetry for them.

10/10
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, thanks! :aww:
Reply
:iconazzabackam:
Azzabackam Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:iconlorddarnley:
LordDarnley Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012
Fantastic!
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! ^^
Reply
:iconfablu:
Fablu Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Student Writer
I really like this. It's so... erotic, yet tastefully so. xD
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe, thanks! :D
Reply
:iconyourroyalshortness:
yourroyalshortness Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This actually made me think of my crush! Beautifully written and brilliant words used xx
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:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :aww:
Reply
:iconkittykun1999:
KittyKun1999 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww~
Beautiful writing :aww:
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
>w<
Reply
:iconkittykun1999:
KittyKun1999 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
..........
Reply
:iconblacksoul4321:
blacksoul4321 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012
:iconiloveyouplz:
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:aww:
Reply
:iconblacksoul4321:
blacksoul4321 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012
:hug:
Reply
:iconthewritingdragon:
TheWritingDragon Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:icondragonhug:
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:
Reply
:icontuiskulumi:
tuiskulumi Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Simple, but sweet!
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! ^^
Reply
:icontuiskulumi:
tuiskulumi Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. Thanks for the watch and llama!
Reply
:iconfunnygirlygirl99:
funnygirlygirl99 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow! This is really cute. I like it.
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! ^^
Reply
:iconfunnygirlygirl99:
funnygirlygirl99 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Welcome!!!!
Reply
:iconmluminos:
MLuminos Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well the rhyme is good but the flow is off. Id certainly advise you revise. My recommendation:

Such beautiful eyes
Such tasteful lips
the greatest surpsie
and erotic hips
I'll be your lover
I'll be your friend
we'll lie under these covers
until the end.

by altering the poem the syllables flow and the rhythm isn't disrupted at the 5th line.
Though I understand about wanting repetition, and if thats the goal then by all means keep the poem as it is because repetition is a tool for making a point. Also if the language use of "most" as though it is the absolute best is a point that is trying to be made keep it as well. But to me flow of a poem is vital.

either, good poem.
Reply
:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the tip! ^^ I'll actually follow that :meow:
Reply
:icontanukicutie:
TanukiCutie Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
aaaawww x3 <3
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:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:aww:
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:iconthebloodycountess:
TheBloodyCountess Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Student General Artist
Aww. This is so romantic!
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:iconserbeena:
Serbeena Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe >w<
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:iconthebloodycountess:
TheBloodyCountess Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012  Student General Artist
Now I must show this to my friends.
Reply
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